Relating with women

I have come to realize I do not relate with most women in a normal way and I am okay with that. I watch them and observe their behavior. I have seen girls have an absolute blast putting makeup on together and doing hair. The things that seem to be interesting I don't seem to be up with or get when I ease drop on a conversation. I should start by saying that I have always struggled to connect with girls and women. That is not to say I don't at all because I deffinitely do but it seems to be different than the way I witness most others. I am not sure if it is just the way I am made or if it is something that developed over time? I just know I have strived in my life to be normal (is there really such a thing) and I have strived in life at times to fully embrace my inner freak. So maybe as I creep further and further into adulthood I am just finding a happy medium where I realize I am not by any means normal and I am not all that different. I am just who I am. There are things about me that are strong and things about me that are not. If I spend all my time developing the parts of myself that are weak then I will never fully realize the potential that I can find if I focus more on developing the areas where I am strong. All that being said it is still a journey of realizing where my best strengths are and not letting others dictate that.
There is a whole world constantly telling me who I should be, what I should eat, how I should live, and what my dreams should look like. It can be hard to not let that cloud the truth.
The truth is I for as long as I can remember I have never wanted to be a princess (which I decided to confirm by phone with my mom). I didn't have dreams of being a beautiful bride. I was way more excited about saying "I do" and getting off to the honeymoon than the walk down the isle(which was absolutely terrifying). I watched a lot of disney movies as a kid and I really liked Lady and the Tramp among others. No particularly girlie movies stick out in my mind though. I enjoyed building, climbing trees and exploring. I would rather play school than house (and I was always the teacher). That was just me. I wish I could remember more of the happiest moments of my childhood and not the unhappy ones. I will say that my memory of childhood is very vaugue and there are a lot of holes so I could be totally wrong about some things. The point is that I don't remember being particularly girlie ever really. I have always known I do not connect easily with most girls and all of a sudden it finally dawned on me why last night. I think understanding it is good and will lead to being a little easier on myself (maybe).
Last night I went to a wonderful women's event and the speaker was great! She was very transparent and I love that! I left with a greater understanding of being thankful and finding the joy of God. It was such a moving speech and I am so glad I could be there. I also left with a slap in the face of reality though. The speaker said something about the dream of being a princess, and I know what she was talking about. I know because I have heard it talked about my whole life, but I can not relate with it at all. As I looked around the room I suddenly realized that most these women were completely relating with that and did appear to feel that way. I felt sort of alone and like I did not belong suddenly. At one time in my life I sold makeup and wore a lot because how can you sell a product you don't use? I put on makeup because I know it is expected and really at my age with this skin I feel people notice when I don't. I used to like to dress up to go dancing. I like to wear dresses. They are easy to match, they are flattering, and being short I don't have to worry about having them hemmed. I like to have nice clothes to wear, but I dread going to shop and find them. Also I realize most women do not get frustrated by the descrimination against women because they fall so easily into a role or function where they are not blatently descriminated against. I have worked in positions where I am the only female among men and that among other things put a need to fight for womens rights in my heart. I think I just don't enjoy what most women enjoy. I am just not very girlie and my husband would not have ever liked me if I was. I love hanging out with my girl friends and I do have some, but I don't know if they are different from most or if I just happen to hit it off with them. I just know the other night I had a moment where I felt isolated and like I did not belong all of a sudden and I had to wonder if I am the only one? Do most girls dream to be the Belle of the ball? Dream of being a princess? I remember wanting to be President of the US (and I am pretty sure I envisioned myself in a suit). Did I just forget about the part of me that did want to be prom queen, or did I push it out? All I know is I did not get particularly excited about my wedding dress other than the fact that I got a screaming good deal on it. I was able to order it on EBay from China and have it custom made to my size (saving hundreds on a tailor cost). I was excited that it only cost $150 and not thousands. I felt the whole wedding was a lot of money to spend on one day, but my hubby really wanted a wedding (as a pose to eloping). I just don't feel like I have ever fit the mold for a woman. Last night I just felt like it was set it in stone. But now what to do with that? I am not sure. I think I have always known it really but now that I am sure what do I do with it? How to embrace it and be confident despite the fact that I don't fit in with what all the world seems to be telling me I should be. I will just keep being me and try to be more confident in who I am made to be. I just need to quiet out anything that tries to tell me I was made broken or defective and be glad I have a husband who loves and appreciates me, friends who love me even once they really know me, and a God that made me perfectly and exactly as I should be and made me that way for a reason.