Why is the milk in the pantry and the nutmeg in the fridge?

A lot has been happening in my world funny how when the most is happening I tend to document the least. Our entire life is changing in one aspect and we have felt called to uproot (at least for the time being) from a part of our life that has been front and center for so long. We also went several months without eating out and I think that experience had a huge mental effect on me. As of this moment our fridge is full of left overs and there are plenty of ingredients for making several more meals from scratch. If I could get a time machine and bring myself to this house from 4 years ago and say just fix yourself something I am pretty sure the old me would just stand staring at a fridge and pantry full of ingredients and say "there isnt anything to eat here". Which translates to there is nothing I can throw in the microwave or open a plastic package. So I have grown in my domestic abilities, which is not to say that I have mastered being domestic by any means but I am a little more comfortable with it. I still do a terrible job keeping the house clean, heck I am lucky to keep it picked up. It is still a overwhelming and daunting task. I am  blessed to have a husband who does not believe all the house work is "my job" and has always been great in contributing to housework. I wouldn't have married someone who valued a spouse as a housekeeper because automatically I would have been of little value.  My personal theory as to why I suck at housework is that I am too ADD to ever master a task that requires long time focus and concentration. Even when I am rushed in a frenzy trying to clean before someone comes over I get very easily side tracked. Then throw 2 kids in diapers in the mix and I am clueless how anyone does it. I am not a great multi-tasker and I am not good at finishing what I start (if I get side tracked). For example the ketchup sat out on the table for 5 hours today after lunch because I got distracted with helping my son use the potty. Since I went in there to do that I got the baby out of the highchair and brought her. I never remembered and went back to the table to clean up our lunch mess because we moved on to something else. I forgot that was not all formally wrapped up. So 5 hours later I am about to serve dinner and realize lunch is still out including (but not limmited to) the ketchup. I could seriously use someone to just follow me around for a few months teaching me to be more oraganized and consistant in my thought life. I know I haven't always been so flakey and it deffinitely got magnified and amplified after kids, but I hope I get it more in check when I am less sleep deprived. I was talking with a friend not long ago about how to kill time when getting bored and I realized I don't remember the last time I was truly bored. Many years ago for sure. I don't remember a time since we have had kids that I have felt like everything is done. There are always a pretty long list of things to be done now a days. If I am ever just killing time doing something unimportant it is because I am procrastinating the inevitable to do for the moment or I just need a mental break. I just need to embrace my new flakey self and give myself a break because at times nobody else will.  I would like to believe most people are as forgiving of flakiness and forgetfulness as I try to be but I know a lot of people aren't and take it as a very personal offense when people forget (especially if it affects them). So I can at least try to be easier on myself and others(even if other people aren't going to be). Motherhood is just plain hard work and the sleep deprevation definately takes it's toll eventually. I think people forget or other women think we shold all handle it as gracefully and great as they do. I think they just have forgotten because they are already out of the early diaper years. Also I know some women are just stronger at that aspect of life than others. So if the world will not give me grace at least I know I have a God who does and if he can then I should try too. This is not self help or improvement. Sometimes all that is needed is a little dose of self acceptance. This is on my mind mostly because I have not slept well for a couple of days because I have been up with a sick baby and my husband is out of town for work so I have been going solo. As I looked around the messy house, exhausted, I started cleaning and thought I just want to sleep. Then decided that is what I would do and cleaning would haved to wait for a calmer more rested time. I decieded I better make an attempt at a blog entry since I have neglected doing it for so long.